Thursday, May 13, 2010

Seek first to understand

I have a new commandment to add to my six posted the other day.

7.  Seek first to understand.

After a tennis set, which I lost 4-1, we retired to the ocean front in our own secluded cabana.

We read, I wrote and pondered, then we went wave watching.  We tried to predict which swells would produce the most spectacular sprays as they crashed on the beach.  I squealed as the biggest reached their potential.

We then sat very still and gambled on sand crab holes.  Briz usually won and he spotted their googly eyes as they first emerged from their holes. 

When we returned to our pool, the sedate, kind, mature crowd had switched to a loud, smoking, tattooed, partying crowd.  We drew the curtains of our cabana, yet, soon the cigarette smoke reached me and I started to sneeze.  Angrily, I moved across the pool with a huff.  The noise level racheted even higher as new friends poured in.  My indignation grew as I couldn't focus on my happiness project.  I overheard how one girl awoke to her mother scrubbing at her new back tattoo with a washcloth, as she hoped it was fake.  I overheard about one's drinking game, and still another's fishing debacle as they broke the rules and found themselves stranded in the ocean.  It was really hard to focus on goals and ideas.  I self talked and told myself that if I understood them, if I knew them, I'd be less annoyed.  It didn't work.  I stomped back over to Briz.  "I'm leaving.  This pool is no longer meeting my needs."  "I understand perfectly." he replied and we called a golf cart to take us to the furthest pool on the property, the sky pool, located so high on the mountain, you stare down at miles of oceanfront. 

As our cart arrived, the girl with the giraffe on her back or maybe it was the one with the flower bouquet and the young man with the sunbursts popped out.  "Can we join your ride?" 

"Aaahh!"  I can't escape the partiers!"  Briz gave me a knowing look.  I decided to try rule #7.  (Seek first to understand.) "How long are you here?"  I asked giraffe back.

In our short ride, I received an invitation to their wedding Saturday, learned all about Bend, Oregon, their home town, eastern Oregon, and the friends that had gathered here to witness this wonderful event.  I'm not mad any more.  I'm not even annoyed.

Briz and I continued on to enjoy the sky pool, but I HOPE we meet again.  I think rule #7 is a good one.

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