The rain today washed away enough of the snow to do a bit of spring cleaning. My "little mother" had a consequence that entailed clearing the back yard of dog feces. I looked out the window and saw a picture worthy of Tom Sawyer. "Happy" felt honored to trot after her buddy, carrying the poop bucket assisting in a very nasty job that was not her responsibility. They are so blessed to have each other.
In my part of the world, this part of the year is the longest stretch. Many of the women in my neighborhood suffer from severe depression at this moment. It may be the after Christmas letdown, the long periods of bad weather where we are all cooped inside, or maybe that many women really have traumatic happenings in their lives. I am not in this camp though I feel a bit different now.
I have a strong need to turn inward, to care for my soul, my home, and my family. The only thing that could rightly be termed a seasonal disturbance is my aversion to people at this time of year. Nothing personal, its just that so many demands on my energy feel depleting during this time of renewal for me. Just like the soil, seeds, and bulbs rest during this period and soak up energy for the time of blooming, I need to hibernate, fill, and feed.
Some projects are working great. A woman on Hair Today (see sidebar) talked about how the five minutes a day she spent on her daughters' hair was centering and bonding one on one time for them. I loved this mental picture and determined to do better in helping my children meet the day with confidence. I visited a hair bow site and started making different bows, then emptied four drawers with no organization whatsoever into a shoe holder on the bathroom door dedicated to girl hair.
Today I hope to start painting that same bathroom. After all, I've had the tape up since before Christmas.
Other projects require more tweaking. I keep a blank book where I write train of thought musings. Anything that crosses my mind that I may want to remember from church callings, to grocery lists to birthday is written. I have mused on what I want 2009 to look like. What I wish to create and how I want to be different when it is over have been the subject of much thought.
I mainly want to create peaceful space, inward and outward... I need a purposeful existence. So much of what I scurry and hurry to day in and day out leaves my feeling acted upon, choice less in the madness. I am trying to not necessarily do different things, but do them differently. That is the reason for this blog. I wanted to slow down and capture our days, to ensure that my actions were consistent with my goals.
I am still struggling with the times I am encroached upon by others and their agendas. Phone calls from those needing help never come at opportune times, Friends need a walk or a visit right when I plan inner reflection time. And let's not even get into the way sweet children have needs that cannot be scheduled or planned into order.
I thought about building a wall around myself to insulate me from the many people who want a piece of me, but I can't feel right about it. My relationships and building others bring me great joy. Being at the crossroads for others is my purpose. I have not written any great books, but a great book is being published that would not be in existence without me. I do not create any great works on my own, but I help others create great works in their lives and that is a calling I take seriously.
So, I am still mulling over the best ways to give my mind and soul the space it needs to germinate and grow. Some ideas are to limit my online time, to set a few hour space when I don't answer the phone, to insure that my private morning devotional happens before I set out to fill other's cups, to carve out even an hour a week where I can sit with myself and be with me.
Hopefully, my year will fill up with the pages of mindful activities that fill my brain book. This period of mental and physical spring cleaning will bear fruit. So, Holly, lets set that timer and get to WORK!