They worked hard those two. A
fun week was just what they need. I would do my best to provide. But Little Mother, she
wants a friend and Sunshine doesn’t relish being the lonely third wheel. My friend is going on a cruise. She has two girls of similar ages. Was it providential?
I gather
games, craft supplies, and plan food. I
even bring a bag of candy for winner take all games (usually banned at our
house).
We squeeze
through the narrows, hike Snow’s Canyon, roll in the sand dunes, and swim
daily. Nightly we play games, watch
movies and eat ice cream. What’s not to
like? But those pictures that show
smiling girls, they are not worth a thousand words. They don’t tell how one child is crying to me
about being left out, how another ignores her, or how one runs to hide in the
bathroom at dish time. They don’t tell
about one stomping off screaming, “I hate her!
This is the worst trip ever!”
They don’t show one sister choosing friends over her sister or the
rejection another feels.
And I, I am
in charge of this group, this life experience, this “vacation”. I had planned to write each day, to get so
much done. But I am taut with concern,
angry with each little imperfection exhibited by my children, and sad that my
preparations have not smoothed the way for the best trip ever.
They have made this my worst trip ever! I threaten to take them all home early unless
they can get along and show more maturity.
I read,
ponder, pray and think.
The poet Alexander Pope said, “Whatever is, is
right.” This is a way of saying an
omniscient, all loving God only allows only what is in everyone’s best interest
to blow into our lives, good or bad.
Really, in his view, it’s all good. They way to contentment is to
actively trust by offering thanks in the moment of the annoyance, trauma, or
disappointment.
I want to
find this paradise of happiness and I know it is a choice. I stop to experiment. I am walking with a little one that refuses
to be with them for one more minute.
“Whatever is, is right.” I think of my joy at the sun, at the happy person
scootering beside me. What is wrong with
this anyway? This is all good. “But it
isn’t going the way I planned!” There
it is! The thorn that keeps me from the
happy state I am searching for. I refuse
to let go of the driving wheel, even on the small things. I relaxed my control and sat back to see if I
could see why this circumstance was “right.”
You write motherhood so well
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