Saturday morning hobby

Evening falls and Briz is at the computer again. Not checking scores for fantasy football, not seeking weather or news, he is checking on horses for sale.

"Do you realize that we only have 1/2 acre of suburban manicured lawn and landscaping? When would I find the time to excercise and feed? Do you know the costs of feed, tack, boarding?" I ask.

To Briz, there is always a way, always an option, so he persists. "It's for you." He says. "I know how happy it would make you."

Until he sells his wife on the idea, he borrows a friend's animals and takes his children for Saturday morning rides.

But, hey! There is a 3 year old trained mustang available for $250. He chose the wrong career.

Expedition Yellowstone

Beavers one,
Beavers all,
Lets all do the Beaver Call,
Ch ch ch, ch ch ch, ch ch ch, ch ch ch,

Beavers two,
Beavers three,
Lets all climb the beaver tree,
Ch ch ch, ch ch ch, ch ch ch, ch ch ch,

. . .


With crazy songs running through our heads, a filthy car, backpacks full of sleeping bags, binoculars, wool socks, ski pants, and under armor to unpack, and laundry to last a week, Mama Elk of the Elk clan and Ladybug of the Bear clan are home and recuperating from a wild week on Expedition Yellowstone. We lived in the park for a week and experienced the park as few ever do.


Was it worth it?

Well,

We left the school at 4:00 a.m. for what turned out to be a 12 hour trip to the northern entrance in Montana. Everyone slept but the driver. Grrrrr.


We were assigned into clans and responsibilities. Brandon Dawson, standing over the elk scat, was my extremely competent and fun partner in leadership. He had the boys up and working before I ever arrived with the girls at 6:00 a.m. for our clans clean up or cooking responsibilities. Oh, did you know that scat in a tight pile indicates an animal sleeping and a messier pile is from a grazing animal?

Rangers Mel and Michael teach the children in a week what normally would be a half year unit. Armed with laser temperature guns and ph kits the kids scour the thermal features to learn for themselves about the microbes, geyserite, limestone, travertine, and the chemical reactions that take place in this unique environment.


We hike in the back country to learn about ecology.

Activities teach about habitats and food chains. Elk and habitat face off, habitats choosing to be food, water or shelter. Two wolves prowl the periphery to pick off the old or weak elk. We learn how loss of habitat, not predators is responsible for population drops. We found wolf kill to examine and clues that teach everywhere. Can you find evidence of bear activity over 6 1/2 feet up?


One day, ranger Michael let us use scientific equipment to locate an abandoned wolf collar.


Another day, we discovered an ancient wikiup and tepee ring from the Sheep Eaters tribe that used to spend time in Yellowstone.

On another plain, we found the remnants of the cavalry's shooting range from when they were in charge of the park in the late 1800s.

The girls learned to do the wilderness wiggle out of doors without proper toilet paper, and with all our layers, this was quite the feat!



Late at night the girls gathered in my room for giggles. I taught tricks to survive an attack of Baby, if you love me and brought plastic cups for rounds of Parley vous France. I'm not sure about playing truth or dare with your daughter. Ladybug had to tell about her latest crush, I had to sneeze on the eggs at breakfast then pick it out, Taylor had to sing love songs to Sean at breakfast, Jocelyn had to sneak into Ms. Valerie's room to tuck her in, and Ms. Kristen had to ask a male chaperone to help her with the stuck zipper on her ski pants. That was all fine and good, BUT, I hated learning about Ladybug's crush. I was devastated and couldn't sleep that night. Moms shouldn't know everything that goes on in their kids lives. PRIVACY people!!!

We ended with a campfire... indoors, since it was a blizzard outside. After performing the skits that I DISLIKE, tears, gratitude from the kids, and feelings were shared.

Was it worth it? Well, I wish every kid could attend Expedition Yellowstone. I'd love it too, if I weren't a parent, thinking parent thoughts like, "why is my kid doing that?" and "I need to do a better job with _____" etc. etc.

Naked and Ashamed

Ladybug plopped her backpack down on the seat and flopped down to buckle. "My show and tell went wrong."

"What happened?"

"Well, I took out my art kit the Great Pumpkin brought to show everyone. The big book was too heavy and fell out of my hands, open onto the floor. It opened to a drawing of a naked lady's bottom."

"What happened?" I asked aghast.

"Everyone just starred. I just sat down and didn't say anything. For the rest of the day I felt dumb. I felt like everyone was thinking that I look at naked pictures."

I couldn't help myself. I started giggling.

I think I feel as bad as Ladybug. We have a date to go through the book and make/draw clothing on any questionable pictures. But it is too late for Bug. She fussed, "I am mad at that artist. Mad at that book and mad at myself for bringing it." I added, "I am mad at myself too."

Guess the school won't be nominating me for mother of the year!

The Great Pumpkin

Late Halloween night after everyone has gone to sleep, the great pumpkin roams our neighborhood, searching and sniffing out large bags of candy. Not just any old bags of candy will do. He only accepts voluntary offerings.

Padme, Elisabeth and the pirate queen collected vast amounts of artery clogging, energy stealing, nutrient robbing legal addictive stimulants. They munched as they walked, then stuffed as they watched The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Bell, Book and Candle with Jimmy Stewart. Before toddling off with their sick stomachs, they left all but their favorite full sized candy bars on the table as a free will offering for the Great Pumpkin.

When they awoke, the bags were no where to be found but in their place were three very cool gifts.


You might wonder what the Great Pumpkin does with all this loot. Well, legend has it that he gives some to Santa for stockings, leaves some for the annual gingerbread houses, uses some for occasional rewards and throws the junk away. What a smart pumpkin. That is just what I would do with it!

Best Costume Awards Go to . . .

We sorted through Nana's attic filled with elaborate hand sewn costumes, then awaited the day we could don them. Though a masterful hairdresser and make up artist, Mom's hands were impatient as she held our eyes just so for mascara or eyeliner as we wiggled and blinked at inopportune times. Finally, we opened our eyes to see the magical stranger in the mirror.

Could that mysterious person be me? Maybe I have a little royalty, wildness, sweetness, . . . or whatever the transformation suggested. We walked around that night, feeling like little strangers to ourselves and to each other. Not sure how to act around those we met, we were a little stilted in our language, so not to pop our amazing new image.

Today, I remembered. I remembered how it felt to hold and hold and hold your hand down so not to smudge your careful makeup. I remembered why Halloween was one of the BEST holidays of the year. It had nothing to do with candy. In fact, our family didn't go trick-or-treating. It had everything to do with trying on a new identity for an evening . . . feeling beautiful, daring, or funny.


I remembered when my wild Sunshine walked carefully down the stairs holding her skirts with a prim yet self conscious smile. I remembered as she told Sarah Jane on the way to preschool, "I am a pwincess and pwincesses don't act like THAT." I marveled at the shy and dainty change in behavior her dress and make up wrought.


I remembered when my other two stood, turning their heads in the mirror. "I don't know which of us looks better." Ladybug said proudly. "I'll bet the party has some sort of prize for the best family costumes."


At the party, dozens of children I love tromped by me in groups and separately to grab a doughnut hanging from a string or to have me paint their face. Each child positively preened as I mentioned how strong, scary or beautiful they looked.

As the 50 plus children paraded around the gym, I watched the different ways they expressed their joy in their "new self." Some held their skirts primly. Others tried not to smile. Some couldn't help it and laughed and twirled. Then, they began to announce "winners" of the costume contest.

Oh please don't do this!!! How can you pick when you see the looks on these children's faces? They all know they are something special tonight. Don't ruin it!

My children stood in front of the announcer till the very last prize was announced, certain if they just waited long enough, their name would be called.

Later, at home, Ladybug wondered why the witch or blown up Sumo wrestler got a prize. He was all plastic, with no makeup, nor was he elegant or tough.

I thought about giving a lecture about sour grapes or being glad for others. "Well, that's life. You rarely win. It's not important that others recognize you."


Then I rethought. "What is wrong with wanting to be recognized? With feeling amazing and wanting others to notice? As a matter of fact, I notice you. I see your beauty. I can do something about this."


My gift box produced some sparkly barrettes that were waiting for just such a purpose. I picked a pair for each of my winners and quickly created their prize. One was presented during a final rush of homework, another to a dripping baby just out of the shower, and a final one to an almost sleeping winner. "I won? For my elegance? (or good manners, best dancing)" Did you think that about me?"

"I certainly did." I replied.

Smiles like watermelon slices lit three faces. Costumes were put carefully away for the next Halloween party. Hugs and kisses were doled out. I wished that I could go to each darling child's house and tell them why they were amazing tonight.

Hmmm.

1. You can't tell me what we wear doesn't affect how we act.
2. It's OK to feel beautiful.
3. I've got to help my little ones not rely on the judgements of others for their happy thoughts.
   
4. AND, while I'm at it, I'll give myself an award. (I didn't win either.) Way to get dressed up with three little kids all by yourself while bottling applesauce, making dinner and helping with homework. You are a fun mom. AND, you really made lots of kids happy tonight.
   

Snowin' Opportunity

"I'll get my bedroom or laundry room done today." I committed to Char.
"I'll get my office done." she replied. "I'll call and check in with you to see how it went."

Seven hours later the phone call came. "I did it!" She exclaimed. "How about you?"

"Didn't happen."

"How could you not get to your room?"

I struggled for an answer. Here is how the day played out.

The first snow of the season demanded that I stop and twirl, open my mouth and let snow chunks melt on my tongue.


We raced barefoot to see who can stand the cold the longest. I lost.


The snow was perfect for molding. Our family gained a new snow friend and dog.


Pots of apples simmed, filling the house with their comforting aroma. They were squashed by hand, seasoned with cinnamon and jarred for the cold months ahead.


A friend had a witches party I missed because Briz was called out. Though I'd love an evening out, it was a great opportunity to take her kids so she could be worry free tonight. We turned it into a party.


The method of choice for Apple Bobbing was to lift one leg and gurgle in the water.

I truly don't know where my day went. It's nine o clock. Everyone is cuddled in blankets in front of Halloween movies. There is still time to get to my room and fulfill my commitment. Char! Just wait! I'll clean my room before I hop into bed!

Miss Zelda strikes again

Miss Zelda substituted music classes for Miss Midodi today. She does this every year. She is a bit snotty and has a really stuck up laugh, but the kids love her. She teaches major/minor recognition (Minor keys are her FAVORITE!!!) Then she teaches how to use the body in communication by turning the children into a statue garden with her magic wand.

I'm not so sure if the middle school kids like her or not, but she keeps their attention.

Good Bye dear friend

We waved as the truck drove out of sight, bearing Ginger, our old, blind dog who has been in our family longer than our children. I shut my heart, refusing entrance to memories, or guilt for the moment. I only allow myself the small indulgence of recording this event as a small vent for my feelings.

On the humorous side, this morning, Briz announced in a cheerful voice, "kids, say goodbye to Ginj today. Today is her magical day. Today she becomes a spirit dog!" The children did not share his enthusiasm for Ginger's future progression and broke into tears. Tears on the sofa, tears in the corner, and tears in the back yard. After awhile, my all male husband had all he could take. "There is no reason to cry. Ginger is old, her body doesn't work any more. She'll be much happier." He looked at me incredulously wondering why his explanation wasn't working. I intervened with loves and a family prayer asking for peace and understanding that death is not the end. Then Briz offered Gingie some baloney.

Ginger has some amazing qualities: Unlimited patience and love were her best. I hope she is romping with Ming chasing rabbits and squirrels. I think this is about all I can take right now so I'll go think about laundry. One little ladybug just returned with her father and needs a snuggle.

Halloween Hope

Thirty women looked suspiciously as we marched in armed with root beer, ice cream, sugar cookies, and story books. One can hear them thinking, "Who are these goody goodies and why on earth are they here?"

It's a new group of women. Most aren't familiar with me or Jodi who goes so much more often. They are new to drug rehab. This group still appears unsold on their own recovery. I notice a few petty comments and snaps at each other that show one house in peril.

Six years ago when I first started coming, this would have unnerved me a little, but today, I simply meet their eyes with a smile. I look with love, knowing I will leave today with new friends.

Jodi begins the class. Good news goes on for a bit. It is an opportunity for Jodi to teach - to witness the recovery and hope she has witnessed here. Are they listening? How many really want to change? How many are only here because of a court order? Well, I can't judge which ones will make it, nor do I care. I have a few hours to love.

In circles we yell, "Monster! Pirate! Candy Corn!" Someones head gets bopped, then another and another. Laughter roars through the three circles. Women exchange names. Laugh. Night comes and the werewolves come out... the villagers hold court and vote on who to shoot with a silver bullet. "Please can we do this again?" We do. "We can do this in our houses." one says.

"With our kids."

"We can use this for bonding time."

"Who'd have thought we could have fun without drugs?" Adds another.

Jodi passes out root beer floats while I tell silly children stories.


Never have I seen better shoes go "shake shake!" or pants go "wiggle wiggle." The women laugh. They even cry. I wonder what memory or thought is triggered by the Little Old Woman Who Was Not Afraid of Anything. I said, "This little old woman was like the woman here. They'd seen it all. Nothing could scare them." One girl answered, "You have no idea."

"I knew it." I continued. This is YOUR story about how you face things that try to scare you and get in the way of your treatment. You look at them head on and say, "You can't scare me!" then you deal with your demons in a creative way."

As we left, the women crowd us. Gratitude beats on us from faces turned sunny from sullen.

"This is the most fun I've had since treatment began."

"Didn't this morning go by fast?"

"Will I ever see you again?"

Thankful for my circumstances and the opportunity to stretch for a few hours I return to my more mundane tasks of laundry, car pool, home work, and the prevention of habits in my small ones that would steal their agency.

October 22

I was born 38 years ago today. I'm glad of that. It is a perfect time for me to reflect and think about what and who makes my life so worth while. It's the PEOPLE! The lovely ones that inspire, touch, teach and care for me. How can I thank them? I have an idea, a hope to inspire and lift others today.


Sweet husband turned my plans on their head by having some special people express their appreciation for me in written form.


I read. My heart, already warm, becomes gooey. The love and kindness shown to me today enlarges me, makes me quicker to respond to others, more patient with my little people, more appreciative of my sweetie. For one evening, I become what they see in me.

Oh that I could make others feel better their best, the way they have made me feel today. Happy Birthday you silly little girl grown up!

Warmies

Too cold for short sleeves, but I haven't pulled out the winter sweaters yet. I have 22 minutes till I pick up Sunshine. Only twenty two minutes to prove to the world that I was alive and kicking today. I race my sewing machine up the stairs, cut off the heel of two pairs of knee socks, cut off the toe, stitch the hole closed, and cut a slit 1 inch down for my thumb. Ta Da!!!! Warmies!!!! With 5 minutes to go I try one pair on. My mother-in-law stops by. After chatting for a minute she asks, "What are you wearing on your arms?"

"Socks." I reply. "I was cold." Hmmmm. Some people don't appreciate my genius.

Little Mother comes home. "Cool! Man. I want some of those SOOOOO bad."

Well. With appreciation like that, I think I'll give her my purple striped pair.

Tomato thief caught red handed!

"I know what's been eating your tomatoes. Can I keep it?" Ladybug's new buddy is a 3 inch long fellow commonly known as a Tomato Hornworm. Together we looked up his name, care, feeding, and relatives. Common sense tells me to destroy the pest, but he will burrow under ground for the winter and emerge mid spring as a gorgeous and rarely seen tomato or hawk moth with a 5 inch wingspan. Beauty like that can share my tomatoes, so he is wintering underground in Ladybug's room.